Relationship Programs 💜
Programming around relationships… oh boy.
At the end of the day, everyone has their own preferences. What they believe is wrong or right.
This conclusion comes from a mixture of experiences, values, philosophies, beliefs, and unbeknownst adopted programming.
And guess what?
Whatever belief you have around relationships, you’re right. No matter what view you have. Because I think what you believe is what you’ll get in that area anyway.
I do think most people create relationships (both personal and professional) based on self-image.
Be the person who’s liked by everyone in the office.
Be the person with a huge friend circle.
Be the person who’s married and has kids by a certain age.
I am inclined to believe the sake of self-image is why the divorce rate is 40-50% for first marriages and 60-70% for second.
But also, the concept of everything is within.
I think most people believe that love is found somewhere outside of themselves. And when they realize their partner isn’t really filling that void they created for themselves, things go awry.
At my current age, according to what I was taught to believe when I was growing up – I should be married with kids, etc, etc.
I can see how there can be pressure around that especially if that’s the route your parents went through.
Maybe that’s why a lot of my college friends are married, some with kids. Still weird for me to see.
But maybe it’s my own personal experience in my family. Currently, there’s only one person who’s married. My uncle. And he got married when he was in his late 40s or 50s, I don’t remember.
Happily married? That’s debatable. But he’s got some twin girls who I still can’t tell apart 🤷♂️
I’m no relationship expert, obviously. So I’m not gonna go into the inner workings of how a relationship “should” be.
I just think like attracts like or someone who believes you fill an emotional need they’re missing. And you’ll get what you believe.
Reality is a mirror. A mirror of your inner world.
Take my aunt for example. I love her to death, and will always be grateful for what she has done for me.
But I think she’s a case study of how her inner world is repelling her away from her desires.
Of course, everyone would like to be happily married. Or at least be with someone and not die alone.
To give some context and to piggyback off last week, my aunt’s self-worth is heavily tied to money.
She’s been telling me since high school that if I ever got married, I needed to get a prenup. Back then, I never even had a girlfriend so I don't know what the hell she was telling me this for.
Anyway, this has translated to her reality. I often overheard her gossiping with her girlfriends about how there are no good men out there or how men just want her for her money.
I remember after my last relationship, I was talking to a former roommate of hers. This roommate was my age and she rented out my room when I was away at college.
The roommate told me that my aunt said my relationship ended because I didn’t have enough money and a steady job.
An assumption made without knowing any specifics… just based on her inner world.
But I don’t blame her. I don’t think she’s aware that she’s doing this to herself.
Fast forward to another time when we were driving down to New Jersey together.
My aunt asked me if any of my college friends were married and I told her that a majority of them are.
She tells me that I should be looking to get married soon or else it’ll be too late. This was strange and kinda ironic coming from someone single at her age, but whatever.
Maybe I was still a little annoyed by her making comments about me behind my back… which is still crazy that I had to find that out through another person.
But I decided to play.
I asked her what was wrong with being alone? She’s still alone and she seems fine and happy.
For the next 15 minutes, I had to sit there and listen to a lecture on how my aunt could be with people, but they only wanted her for her money. And that being alone was her choice and she didn’t need anyone else.
I don’t know… if that was true, then there would be no need for any hard justifications. Or maybe that’s just me.
Like I said earlier, I believe what you think is what you get. Everyone’s right.
So I said it’s her life, she can do whatever she wants.
And that’s really the main point. I think a lot of people do things not for themselves but a self-image influenced by programs. Especially in the area of relationships.
And again, I’m no love guru. Not even close.
But self-love exists. You can find love within. And I think if you’re coming from that place, you can give away as much love as you want with no expectation of return.
Week 85 Updates
I went to my first ever UFC show live last weekend and what a great time.
Definitely worth the experience and I’m glad I did it. Next week, I’m headed to Vegas on a solo trip to UFC 300. Hopefully, my client gets it done and we can chill and enjoy the rest of the fight card.
If not, I’m just gonna be sad the entire time.
Anyway, things are still moving along in the right direction. Slowly but surely.
I was contacted by a sports agency last week to possibly collab with some of their clients, but I’m not really sure if it’s the right fit.
Plus, I’m not trying to add an extra 5 clients all at once right now. I’ve already seen what happens when I do that.
Good things take time and I’m in no rush.
Trust the process, love the process.
Kevin
whos this guy think he is dropping this fieeeeee