Programming Around š°Ā
My sleep has been weird lately.
Iāve been waking up around 3-4am and staying awake until ~1 hour before my alarm. And by the time the alarm goes off in my ear, Iām snoozing that thing until I get annoyed.Ā
But with that being said, this weird sleep has killed my creativity recently. Yesterday, I just felt off and had a big writing day planned.
Instead, I just did some outlining and zero writing.Ā
In the past, I wouldāve felt guilty about it. Guilty that Iām not āhustling and grindingā. But being busy doesnāt always mean being productive.
Thatās just another program getting passed along in the business world.Ā
So apologies for getting to this late. Busy catching up on a lot of other stuff. Still getting it done though.
Programs on money.
As I alluded to last week, the first programs installed into you likely come from your family.Ā
Thereās a great story of a woman who repeatedly cut off the ends of a rib roast before cooking it in the oven.Ā
Finally, one day her husband asked her why she did that. Her only reason was because her mom did it.Ā
And why did her mom do it?Ā
Because the oven her mom had couldnāt fit the whole roast. Yet, this woman never found out why until her husband asked.Ā
She just accepted it as is and followed along.Ā
Becoming aware is the first step to escaping habitual states of programming. And it happens in all aspects of life.
In regards to money, my family is relatively āfinancially savvyā. When I say financially savvy, I donāt necessarily mean theyāre wise with investments or know how to make money.
Itās more like being frugal and cheap to the extreme. Not so extreme that they could appear on Extreme Cheapskates on TLC though.
I canāt even imagine what I would think if one of my family members cooked salmon in a damn dishwasher š¤®Ā
Thereās nothing wrong with living a budgeted lifestyle. As long as thatās your personal choice.
But if thatās the only lens you view the world from, then you might pay for it. Literally.
One of my family members inherited a house from my grandpa when he passed away.
This family member refused to sell the house several years back because she wanted an extra $25,000 on the asking price.
To this day, the house is empty and still not sold. And this person has lost more than $25,000 from taxes and fees associated with keeping the house.Ā
Plus, with high interest rates, no oneās really looking to buy.
To me, this is an example of stepping over dollars to pick up pennies.Ā
I was never really a fan of this mindset, so I never let it affect me. Even though I didnāt grow up with much, I just knew I could make money some way somehow.
There were other little programs that did affect me though.
For example, my family is pretty transactional with each other. God forbid if you were to borrow money from one of them, youād better pay it off on time or else youāll hear about it in front of everyone.
Of course, thatās common courtesy, but full-blown arguments over $20 to a couple hundred dollars are embarrassingā¦ when it comes to family. I can understand if itās a large amount or repeatable behavior.
But even then, definitely not something worth erupting over.
And it gets even worse if you start believing that everyone is out to get you.
With that being said, I did find myself expecting friends to pay me back if I paid for their food or lent them a few bucks. And it did stress me, especially in my teens.
Itās silly to think about now, but something I picked up from my environment.
I think the biggest program I had to get over was the idea of how money is tied to self-worth.Ā
Of course, money is related to status. But status is based on others' perceptions of you.
In another world if no one cared whether youāre rich or not, net worth would have zero status.
Self-worth is what you think of yourself. And if thatās tied to the number in your bank account, I donāt see how you could ever be at peace.Ā
When the stock market crashed in 2020 and was steadily recovering, my mom kept asking me if she should sell off her whole portfolio.
Every day, she would watch the stock markets, watching her portfolio drop lower and lower. Stressing over how it wasnāt as much asĀ it was before.
Again and again, I said no. Iām no financial guru, but I knew the markets would recover.Ā
A general occurrence that happens in human nature is when someone is in lack, they will seek to fill that void.Ā
Because my momās net worth was so closely tied to her self-worth, rather than looking for other avenues to make moneyā¦ she developed a mini-hoarding problem.
Buying things and leaving them unopened. Or buying food and just holding onto them, sometimes well past their expiration date.Ā
Today, even though her portfolio has fully recovered and then some, she still has habits of hoarding.
For me, this program always left me feeling behind. Because I wasnāt making as much money as the people I followed on social media, I was constantly comparing myself.
It only perpetuated insecurities and self-confidence issues.
But why?
I got over the materialistic phase of thinking. Itās not like I would go around telling people my net worth.
I realized it was similar to when I was trying to get as strong as possible in the gym.Ā
I had no desire to compete in powerlifting. Iām not trying to be a personal trainer or do anything related to fitness.Ā
So what am I doing benching 245 and squatting 365? And trying to higher?
So I could tell people I could? Or did I believe I would unlock something on the inside by achieving those things?
Not saying thereās anything wrong with trying to make more money or get absolutely jacked in the gym.
But I think a lot of people believe money and achievements in general will solve internal issues of theirs.
In my contention, I think itāll only amplify their issues or not change anything at all.
I have a close friend who believes that becoming a millionaire will solve all these problems he has with himself.Ā
Iām sure thatās what a lot of lottery winners believe too. And most of them go back to where they were before.Ā
Breaking out of this program has given me the opportunity to pursue my goals without this lustful attachment to it.
I donāt need to feel behind. Iām where I am on my own journey. Itās not something I need to beat myself up over.Ā
And itās definitely not something Iām gonna compromise peace over.
Next week, I have a good story on relationships and programs. Kinda tied in with money too.
Week 83 Updates
Heading to my first live UFC event this weekend. Also, going to meet with one of my clients for the first time in person.
Also, Iām traveling to Vegas in April for UFC 300. Itās a historic event in the sport and I got a free ticket from a client whoās fighting on the card.
Piggybacking to what we were talking about earlier with programs and moneyā¦
I was hesitant at first because the trip would cost a bit with short-notice flights, hotel, and food.Ā
But I snapped out of it quickly because this is a once-in-a-lifetime event. There will only be one UFC 300 ever.
And at the end of the day, I can make that money back. I canāt get that experience and the memories that come along with it back.Ā
Other than that, I got a shoutout from one of my clients on the biggest MMA show on YouTube.
It was funny because I was texting him during the interview while he was talking about me. And that got mentioned on the interview too š¤£
Letās keep it going.
Trust the process, love the process.
Kevin