Acceptance.
I think one of the most difficult yet important things you can do as a human being is just accept things the way they are.
It’s probably why this is rule #1 in Musashi’s Dokkōdō.
Everyone fantasizes about wishing that some thing, person, or situation could be different. Or woulda, coulda, shoulda’ing the past.
But there comes a point in time to accept it as is. Otherwise, it’ll drive you mad.
You show up to the world as who you are on the inside.
For example, people who are inconsistent with things in general.
People who are inconsistent with doing things for themselves will be inconsistent with others. OR they’re very consistent for others and not consistent for themselves.
People who have a lot of emotional pain will seek to project that pain onto others.
And for today’s discussion, people who have trouble accepting themselves usually have trouble accepting things the way they are.
I’ve written about comparison previously in earlier issues of this newsletter.
It really is the thief of joy. And it’s even more prevalent than ever.
You may think you’ve worked harder or smarter than someone else and are more deserving of success than others on a similar path.
But the difficulty of accepting that reality is why you continue to compare in the first place.
There’s a very famous ad by the Wall Street Journal called “The Tale of Two Young Men”.
Basically, two college graduates with similar grades, personalities, and ambitions both graduated at the same time and went on to work for the same company.
When they met for their 25th reunion, both men were married with 3 children. Both are still working for the same company.
The only difference is that one man was the president of the company and the other was a small department manager.
The ad transitions and reasons this “gap” is because of knowledge and what they’re able to do with it. And that’s why you should read the Wall Street Journal.
But the only reason why this ad was able to sell $2 billion dollars worth of subscriptions is because of the lack of self-acceptance.
Someone doesn’t accept who they are or where they are right now and there’s an inherent lack.
This creates a vortex of desire seeking to fill that lack, believing it’s somewhere outside of themselves.
Lack of knowledge makes sense as to why they’re where they are right now and they buy a subscription.
But the reality is there could be a ton of factors on why the two men are in different positions.
What if one guy just got lucky? And the timing was right?
What if the other guy had no interest in being the president and was fine being a department manager?
How do you know the department manager couldn’t be president at another company?
A lack of self-acceptance makes you prone to not think for yourself.
You do not believe you are capable of coming up with the answer on your own. So other people will implant their beliefs and philosophies into you.
But if you simply accept yourself for who you are right NOW and where you are right NOW (emphasis on NOW), the answers may be right in front of you.
Accepting doesn’t mean surrendering. Accepting where you are right now does not mean you’re giving up on your ambitions.
It’s just knowing you are where you’re supposed to be right now. And where you want to go is possible, but there’s no way you can know when that’ll happen.
Go ahead and fight tooth and nail to bend reality in your favor. See what happens.
Accepting who you are right now will really help you establish a clear vision of who you want to be. And you’ll know what you need to work on internally to make strides toward that person.
Where you want to go probably requires you to be a different person.
And there’s a high chance if you’ve never thought about this stuff before that your conscious and subconscious mind have different self-images of yourself.
You can forcefully scream that you’re the man as loud as you want, but if your subconscious knows how your actions don’t match that, there will always be doubt.
But once both your minds are aligned on who you are at the present moment, you can work together to be who you want to be. Instead of always battling internally with contradicting thoughts and self-talk.
Also, accepting who you are gives you the opportunity to accept others the way they are.
I think everyone is guilty of wishing someone else differed in a way that benefits us.
But most importantly, self-acceptance is the gateway to self-love.
Another topic for another day.
Week 82 Updates
Unfortunately, my client lost his high profile fight over the weekend.
He was winning and then got caught with a strike, which led to him losing.
But good to hear he’s in good spirits and he didn’t sustain a lot of damage. Things could always be worse.
The ironic part is that his opponent haf more damage (a broken arm) even though he won the fight. But it is what it is.
Another client is fighting this weekend, so I have that to look forward to.
But other than that, we’re still trucking along.
I’ve been reading a lot about how all this inner work ties to social and intimate relationships, so I think that’ll be interesting to write about in the future.
Accept yourself and find a little more peace in your life.
Trust the process, love the process.
Kevin