Peace.
Your life becomes a masterpiece when you master peace.
It’s a quote I love and hold dear to my heart. But it didn’t really become relevant to me until the second half of 2023.
Back in May of 2022, I was invited on a business trip to Croatia for a crypto conference.
One of the events was held at a historic castle in Shibenik. It also happened to be in a Game of Thrones episode too, so that was cool.
Anyway, I’m deathly afraid of heights.
So as we traversed up these long-winded stairs up to the top floor where the event was held, I could feel my stomach turning into knots.
It was manageable though. As long as I don't have to see the edge or look down anywhere, I’m good.
Once we got to the very top floor, everything was already set up for a good night. A stage with a DJ, and a bar, and for VIP guests – there was a special reception on the top of the castle wall.
I don’t drink but I was a VIP guest. And as much as I resisted it, I felt like I needed to at least see what the view looked like from the castle wall. Even if it was for a few seconds.
What I didn’t expect was to have a revelational experience.
As you can see from the picture above, I couldn’t go near the edge. But I was still able to see the view.
And as cool as the view was, the feeling I got at that moment was even more significant.
Stillness. Quiet. Calm.
In other words, peace.
During that time, I couldn’t remember the last time I felt such calmness. I was in constant go-mode. My head was always filled with thoughts and anxieties about the future. It also wasn’t a great time in my life.
But at that moment, I was able to escape reality just for a few minutes. The fear of heights left my body briefly so I could absorb the present moment.
Ever since that day, I wondered how I could get that feeling back. Maybe it was another fleeting phenomenon.
Is it possible to feel that way every day?
For over a year, I didn’t think so. We all go through the grind of everyday life and have been conditioned to accept that as normal.
But around 5 months ago, I decided to play a different game. Still had goals, but the focus was internal.
The focus became on what kind of man I wanted to be and show up as every day.
And of course, to seek the beautiful moment of peace.
The challenge was to invoke these feelings without a change in the external world or having things happen to me.
Instead of having peace as an “effect”, I’ve been practicing having peace as the “cause”.
Of course, I went through a void of not a lot happening. Doubts start creeping in. Old thoughts and programming started to come back.
But I continued to show up and the past 90+ days have been nothing short of magical for me.
I think everyone searches for peace in one form or another.
For me, I believed that feeling lived outside of myself and was held behind certain conditions.
I need to get X, X, X, and then I’ll get peace. But when I experienced that feeling on that castle wall, I didn’t have any of that.
So it’s clear that I’ve been searching in all the wrong places. If only I made the connection back then.
Hindsight is 20/20 and I’m a dummy sometimes.
Now that I have a clear intention in my mind, it’s affected a lot of my decision-making.
Is this thing, activity, person, or project going to bring me more peace? Or is it gonna disrupt my peace.
I’ve used this question as a measuring stick for:
The people I want to be around or hang out with
What I want to work on
Things I do on a daily basis
How I want to think
How I want to carry myself
Habits I want to build
And here are some things and concepts that do bring me peace.
Writing.
Obviously. Writing is one of the only activities that immerses me in a flow state.
When the words flow from my fingertips like a pianist composing their masterpiece, it’s a gratifying feeling.
Writing is a therapeutic outlet for me. Connecting my mind to pages in my journal has helped me understand my thoughts and feelings. Allowing me to continue my journey of self-discovery.
Discipline.
I’ve lost quite a bit of weight within the past 3 months. There’s no doubt I’m in the best shape of my life at the moment.
But that has come with making my workouts more intense and brutal.
Let me be clear here. These workouts suck. They will always suck. And I will never build enough of a masochistic nature to enjoy them.
But I show up anyway. I push myself when every muscle in my body is scorched in pain and every cell is screaming at me.
It’s not the rush of endorphins at the end that brings me peace.
It’s more of knowing that I’m gonna continue to show up for myself and push through.
And if anything hard comes across my plate for the rest of the day, I remind myself it can’t be harder than the workout I went through earlier.
Meditation.
In the beginning, I couldn’t sit still or quiet my mind for 10 minutes.
The feeling of impatience and thoughts of things I had to do for the day haunted my meditation sessions.
But like taming an animal, I forced myself to sit there until the timer rang.
Now I typically meditate for 20-30 mins in the morning and 5-10 mins at night.
My mind tends to wander and race often, so these moments of silence and observing myself are refreshing.
Self-Integrity.
I don’t do well with people who can’t keep their word anymore.
In fact, when someone says they’re gonna do something and don’t do it, it raises flags for me. I observe what they say more closely.
If it’s a recurring pattern, I let myself out and stay away.
I know how long and difficult it is to build self-integrity.
Because I used to be that guy.
Now I can take value and confidence in my word. If I give you my word or say I’m gonna do something, it’ll get done. I’ll figure it out.
So if I catch myself worrying about doing something. I remind myself of who I am and that tinge of anxiety disappears.
Self-Acceptance.
For me to become who I wanted to become, I needed to do a purge of things I didn’t like about myself.
During that cleaning, I found there were things I didn’t like… but I also had no control over.
Fun fact: When a storm is approaching, herds of buffalo run towards the storm. Why? Because they can get through it more quickly.
So I had to be like a buffalo and face any unresolved pain or insecurities.
I’ll keep those things to myself but examples of insecurities could be physical scars, looks, abilities, etc.
And at the end of the day, how do I give love if I can’t even love myself?
So accepting myself for who I am with all the flaws. Embracing all of it. Changing things that are in my control.
In doing so, I can truly not care what other people think of me. But it also silences the inner critic.
Upwards and Onwards
I don’t know what the future holds. I’ll leave that to the Universe.
I’m sure I’ll change my mind about a lot of topics I’ve written about as I continue to grow and learn.
But I have a feeling that this isn’t gonna be one of them. And I’m grateful I’ve discovered and understood it early on.
I often see stories of successful people who write vulnerable posts about being miserable. Even after achieving life-changing money and goals.
I never understood it. But I get it now.
And I can feel confident in that specific future never happening to me.
Because as long as I continue to show up for myself…
There’s no thing, no circumstance, or no person who can take away all my peace.
If you disrupt my peace in any way, well then you can peace out ✌
Week 78 P4P Updates
Still cruising along doing the best I possibly can with what I have.
I had to have a hard conversation with someone I’m working with, but it’s for the better. I used to avoid these conversations as much as possible, but it only festers into anxiety and other negative emotions.
So better to have them early. It’s nothing personal.
I have a certain way I work. I’m not asking anyone to change themselves or the way they work for me.
But the least you can do is be good on your word. When you say you’re gonna do something, do it. Going back to the self-integrity part I talked about earlier.
The experience will be better for both of us.
Anyway, still growing in subscribers slowly but surely.
Two new clients have fights in the next month so it’s slow getting started.
But I know that once it starts, momentum will build.
And my client Max won his fight last week! Let’s go!!
Thanks for listening to me ramble. I hope it’s helpful in some shape or form.
Trust the process, love the process.
Kevin
Being honest, I am not even sure how I found your newsletter.
But every week I am glad I can read these thought processes and everything that comes with it.
Thank you for letting me read these newsletters every week and also reflect on myself.
Don't slow down, you are doing great job.
Good luck and once again thank you.