Working On The “Self”
I’ve been on a hell of a personal development journey for the past 6 years.
But I’d say that the majority of those 6 years were spent focusing on skills and desires… and not on the most important part.
Myself.
Skills are only a small part of my being. And desires are fleeting, I wouldn’t consider them a core part of me.
For example, my dream car in college was a BMW i8 and now I’m perfectly fine driving my 2004 Acura for as long as I can.
When I first started and felt like the whole world including my family was against me…
All I wanted to do was prove them wrong.
Now I don’t care about that whatsoever.
But that’s because my “self” has changed since then.
Skills are important of course. Skills pay the bills. But I think that’s the ceiling for most people.
Unless of course, you view your skills as gifts you can share with the world. And it’s something you’re truly passionate about and makes you happy.
I enjoy writing. All types of it.
Writing has paid my bills and allowed me to survive and play this game longer.
While in flow, writing that vibrates my soul and allows words to seamlessly flow from my fingertips… that’s brings me joy.
Even then, writing is still a small part of me.
How I would describe the self and where the bulk of personal development is in:
Your thinking
Your emotions
Your perspectives
Your relationships
Your choices
Your passions
Your philosophies
Your values
Your beliefs
And I’m sure there’s more I can’t think of off the top of my head, but those are some things I’ve been really fine-tuning in the latter part of 2023.
From my observations, if you don’t put any effort toward those areas… someone else will fill those in for you.
At that point, the only real way you’re truly expressing yourself is through your skills.
And for most people, it means they’re living to work.
Unfortunately and usually, the escape from this illusion is some sort of trauma.
I recently saw a comedian cancel his entire tour. By doing so, he’s losing six, maybe even seven figures.
His reason why?
His daughter, whom he confesses that he barely ever sees, had to undergo a life-saving emergency surgery.
I’ll try to paraphrase his video, but the gist of is:
He’s been grinding for the past 12 years.
He’s missed so many important events in his kids’ lives.
There’s more to life than being on the road.
He’s exhausted.
His family is what matters most at the end of the day.
From the list of things I provided earlier, this guy is realizing a change in multiple categories.
Is there a chance he might just get stuck in the same feedback loop when or if he tours again?
Maybe.
Jim Rohn is the one who says:
“Learn to work harder on yourself than you do on your job. If you work hard on your job you can make a living, but if you work hard on yourself you'll make a fortune.”
For me, fortune doesn’t necessarily have to only equate to money. That’s part of it.
I’ve seen some people burn bridges to make money. I can’t speak on whether it was worth it for them or not.
But that’s not worth it to me.
When I was younger, I was addicted to this silly online game called Runescape.
I remember waking up in the wee hours of the morning (and I’m not a morning person whatsoever) to play.
I’d wake up before school to play. The thrill of working on my pixelated character made me excited for each day.
If I could somehow find a way to replicate that feeling for myself in real life, not a game, that would be the ultimate fortune to me.
I still practice my skills of course. But my primary focus is on who I’m becoming.
That person is gonna have skills, for sure. But that’s not all that person has.
Of course, this process doesn’t happen overnight.
But this week, I’ve had a mini-breakthrough. One day this week, as I opened my eyes, I felt excited to go about my day. Wondering what kind of magic will happen to and for me on that day.
Of course, the rest of the days were me trying to motivate myself to get out of my warm, cozy bed and into the winter day.
But hey, progress is progress.
That’s not the biggest breakthrough though.
I can’t pinpoint the exact day… but it’s definitely an accumulation of the work I’ve done.
Ever since I was younger, I was super shy and timid. This social anxiety stayed with me throughout college and into the majority of this personal development journey.
Now? I can’t really feel those nerves anymore. I feel comfortable in my own skin in situations and places where I’d normally feel out of place.
I’m putting that down as the old self vs. my new self.
But at the end of the day, I’m still a work in progress. And now that I have a better understanding of things, that probably won’t change until it’s my time.
Week 76 P4P Updates
A lot of different parts are moving along. But I’ve been ready for this moment.
Flow and focus are interesting things. Something I’d like to go down the rabbit hole in the future.
But in between sessions of work, I’ve felt this overwhelming sense of resistance.
One time it led to me lying down and taking a nap! I’m not a napping person.
And the cure is always so simple…
Just get started.
So I feel like there’s some sort of gatekeeping force in between. But once I’m in flow… nothing’s stopping me until I’m done.
Anyways, we’re still growing in subscribers.
We’re up to 2,719 subscribers across my clients at the minute.
But I’m enjoying the process despite its ups and downs. Those are just the seasons of life I guess.
Can you believe it’s February already? 👀
Me either.
Trust the process, love the process.
Kevin